The end is near.

The end of March, that is.  I have looked forward to this time for months.  Yesterday was the Jump Club Spectacular.  It is so nice to be done with that.  I dreaded going every Wednesday.   My kids all came up and gave me a hug afterward.  That almost made it worth it.  Today Adaline was supposed to be done with choir, but they have a choir festival next week, so more practices.  I got all my flowerbeds cleaned out- a huge project.  Every year I swear that I'm going to rip some of them out, but after that are cleaned out I love them.  Today Isaac has baseball tryouts to throw into our crazy schedule.  Athena had her first baby yesterday.  Adaline and I stopped by last night.  She is so cute!  David and Mark are both going to be in town this weekend.  That just means nonstop partying for the next couple of days.  I'm going to be trashed after this week, but it is good.  I am so grateful for my good problems.   Today Eleanor told me that she "was not going to take a nap today."  Oh great!  James went on choir tour last week and had a great time.  I talked to him daily and he always sounded so happy.  Matthew is the best kid.  He has a cold and I told hime that he couldn't come with us to see Athena's baby.  He was so sad!  He loves babies.  And babies love him.  Adaline is Mother Ginger for her ballet performance and has extra practices. Jacob loves to play the piano, just not practice- that's not a problem, right?  Bridie is as cute as can be.  She is the light in my life.  She says the cutest things!  She has her own sense of style and I love to see the outfits she comes up with every day.  Eleanor has hit the terrible twos with full force.  Yesterday as I was carrying her into the house kicking and screaming I thought, she's throwing a temper tantrum.  I have been through this 6 other times and I am still surprised when it happens.  I think that stage is so traumatic for me (running out of a store with a hysterical child, church, home, etc) I just block it from my memory.  I'm sure she'll grow out of it.  All the other kids did.

Journey to Zion

So Gordon has been spending the last 10 Saturdays rehearsing for the stake musical.  It has been a journey for me.  One from frustration, to anger, to acceptance, to embracing.  Bridie and I went to all three performances.  The kids loved it.  They want to be in the next one.  We are happy to have been able to contribute Gordon's talents to such a good cause.  

St. Patrick's day 2012

I love a holiday!  I can't wait to find a reason to decorate the house, have special food, and do special things!  We had a great St. Patrick's day.  Jacob and Bridie made a leprichan trap out of a pizza box and 3 fake gold coins and a stick to hold up the top of the trap.  The next morning there were chocolate leprichan's and green gold coins.  Some of the kids had mustaches on them.  That evening we had cabbage and corned beef.  I love St. Patrick's day, little work, lots of memories.

Bridie's store

The other day the weather was beautiful.   Bridie decided to set up shop in the backyard and sell goldfish crackers.  They were in cute muffin tins that were decorated with a rainbow for St. Patrick's day.  The location wasn't great.  Her only customer was Matthew.  The kids still had a great time with the store. I wanted to throw in the last picture because it represents what days are like at our house.  The kids are gone to school and Bridie and Eleanor play.

Torture

  Adaline and James at Gordon's office.

So this was a long time ago, but should be recorded for future posterity.  Adaline had 3 worts on her foot. We would stop by Gordon's office after Sunday dinner and burn them.  For three weeks we went .   Adaline was such a trooper!  One Sunday James mentioned that he had some moles on the back of his neck that were bugging him so Gordon cut them off.  Gordon is so handy!  It makes all the years of school worth it.

Get away

After 2 years Gorodn and I finally got away from all the kids for a night.  Gordon had a conference in Salt Lake so I tagged along.  I had a great time shopping and sleeping in.  My mom, who will be watching the kids when I go to England, wanted to watch Eleanor over night.  There than the 5 a.m. mix up where Eleanor thought my mom was me, everything went perfectly.  I can't wait to get away again, soon.

Dr. Seuss day

For kindergarden Jacob's teacher asked the kids to dress up as their favorite Dr. Seuss character.  Jacob dressed up a The Cat in the Hat.  My friend Suzy helped me make the outfit.  He was so proud of himself.

Watch out for James

 James is driving our old 1997 geo prism.  It's better than nothing.

James driving away to go to school.

Yesterday I spent another hour of my life in line at a government agency.  It wasn't too bad.  James now has his drivers license!!!  It was so weird to see him drive away to school this morning all alone.  It has been so much fun driving him and his friends to school every morning.  I get to listen in on the conversation.  I'll miss that.  It is going to be so nice to have another driver in the family.  That is until I added him to our insurance this morning and saw the new bill!  It was a little sad to see James becoming more of a man.  I miss my little boy.  Oh well, upward and onward.

Couldn't have said it better myself..

My sis-in-law Malinda emailed this blog post that was published in the Huffington post.  It describes exactly what it is like to parent young children.  This is just a portion of the blog.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy everysecond, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No. 

She goes on to say that there are moments in the day where she really looks at her children and see's their true beauty.  And that is what makes it all worth it.  Here is the link for the whole post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html