Resetting my clock

4 weeks ago I got talked into signing up for a boot camp that starts at 6 in the morning.  For the last 18 years I forgot that 6am existed.  I was so freaked out thinking about getting up at 5:30am the night before the first boot camp that I hardly got any sleep.  The day of boot camp I felt find until 10am.  Then I started to shut down.  The first week was a killer.  The second week my friend that suggested I sign up was on my very bad list.  I am finishing my 3rd week with 2 more to go and waking up isn't bad.  I don't feel trashed the rest of the day.  The other days (mon, wed, fri, sat, sun) when I don't have boot camp I'm up at 6:30am and feel great.  It's almost like 18 years of being up with a baby totally screwed up my internal clock.  I needed it re-set and boot camp has done that for me.  I almost enjoy it.  I am glad I had the opportunity to get suckered into this.  

Reflections

Bridie won reflections in her school today.  She was so cute!  Her dance was made up the night before it was due.  Gordon put it to music and burned it to a CD.  And she won.  She has so much personality!  Jacob also entered a photo.  I love that he tried.  He was thrilled that he got some coupons for his entry.

Over the edge

Gordon has been gone since Monday.  I have no idea how single parents do it.  I am so excited to have him come home.  I am tired of doing it all.  I need a partner!  Even though Gordon is only around a couple of hours in the evening, it's just enough to keep me sane.

A couple of my projects.

When I was a kid my dad rarely left but when he did my mom always had a couple of projects that she did while he was gone.  She wouldn't cook dinner or anything else.  She would just do her project (like wallpaper the entry).  And when my dad returned it always looked so good.  It was a lot of long uninterrupted hours and late nights on my moms part.

While Gordon was away I had the same vision.  Long list of projects with kids eating cereal for dinner and me in paint clothes without make up on.  And putting life on hold.  I did get some projects done but life did not get put on hold- it came with full force.  I just wanted to stay home and patch the hole in the wall of the newest bathroom, paint a couple of spots that have been driving me crazy for over a year, organize some closets, etc.

Last night I had it all planned out.  I got a caffeinated drink, pizza for the kids and was looking forward to letting them watch tv for the evening while I chipped away at the lists I had made.  At 6:45pm I got a call from a woman I visit teach.  She was asking if our daughters needed to be in church clothes for the Young Women's in Excellence at 7 that night.  Parents were expected to be there supporting their daughter.  I was ticked.  I just wanted to stay home!  I wanted to paint my master bedroom ceiling where an old light fixture hung.  I wanted to sort the kids craft stuff.  I did not want to get dressed up and got to church.  I had plans!  I did go and had a great time.  I was reminded about good, better, best.  I was complaining to a friend about my list not getting done while Gordon was away so she (Kim Lewis) came today and helped me with my list.  I was a little embarrassed because my list was things like: Color code fabric scraps and hang pictures- dumb stuff that only I notice.  She was a great help and I loved having her around.

I did end up getting most of my list done, dinner made every night, kids taken to lessons, homework done, and the little kids put to bed on time (with Adeline's help).  At times it wasn't pretty and I have 8 pumpkins that have not been carved yet, 2 kids that need birthday parties thrown for them, a baby shower here tomorrow night that I have not even started on, and the second largest kids holiday in 2 days (where I have to read a story to Isaac's class and do a food craft and all food must be store bought), and bedrooms must be moved around before Saturday morning when we have a Chinese woman coming to living with us for a month.  I am tired just thinking about all of it.  I will get through it all but it might not be pretty.

Gardner village

Last Friday the kids didn't have school so the girls and I went to Gardner village.  It was lots of fun.  I love hanging out with my kids.  We stopped by one of my favorite consignment shops and I bought myself a painting (it's for Christmas)  The girls just wanted to know where I was going to hang it-running out of wall space.  I think it's time to start getting rid of some that I don't love.  This painting I love- Gordon's only comment was that all our paintings are of mountains.  That is not true- I do have some paintings of flowers too.

Yesterday was the kids primary program.  All my kids had their parts memorized.  I was asked to sit on the stand next to Eleanor.  I was so nervous Eleanor would not go up to the mike- let alone say her part.  She will not pray, do the scripture or give a talk in primary.  We usually stand up at the pulpit int he primary room and I give the talk, scripture or prayer while she hides her face in me.  When it was time for her to say her part she marched up and got in line to say her part.  She said it perfectly but so cute that everyone laughed.  She came back to me and nearly started to cry.  I felt so bad for her.  She finally over came her stage fright and to have that happen- so sad.

Yesterday was my mom's Halloween party.  Julia, David, and Tina's families all came.  We had doughnuts hanging from a string that you eat without your hands, fishing for twizzlers,  Carmel apples, dinner and Julia made my mom's sugar cookies (so yummy!).  Everyone had a great time and it's so nice now that all the grandkids are getting older.  They ran all the games themselves.  They were planning Halloween together too.  I love living by family.  Cousins are the best!

SEP's

Jacob and Bridie had SEP's last week.  I always look for ward to it because I get to hear them speak Chinese.  Jacob is really quiet and never speaks Chinese even in class but when asked questions in Chinese he shows that he knows what is going on around him.  So he's a little tricky for me or the teachers to figure out what is going on in that brain of his.
Bridie is so cute.  Both her teachers adore her.  She is the light in their classrooms.  She is adorable and is just excited about everything.  She is a perfect student!  Her Chinese is actually better than Jacob's was at this stage but I think that is just because our school has got all the kinks out of the program and they are able to teach more effectively.
It was a joy to go watch them and to hear them speak another language.  I am enjoying having them in this program.  It is not for everyone but it has been a really good fit for my last 3 kids.  

Bridie's birthday

Bridie was so excited for her birthday that we bought her present the day before at the local toy shop and had it gift wrapped.  The day of her birthday she was up at 7 and ready for her birthday to begin.  Brodie had her present opened by 8am.  Then she took the Twix's to her class.  She had her SEP that day so we got to see her at school the day of her birthday.  She is such a cutie!!  The afternoon was crazy so we didn't get to the spaghetti factory until 7:30.  Dinner was delicious and we had a wonderful time at dinner talking and enjoying each others company.

 

Adaline's concert (actually my letter to James for the week)- two birds one stone.

Last night Adeline had a choir concert.  I dragged Bridie and Jacob along with me (they were the ones causing the most problems at home.  I figured dad needed a break.)  It was short (45 mins.) and really good- the songs they sang were great.  The kids had a great time.  I had Jacob video tape Adaline so we have some really bad footage but it kept Jacob entertained.  Tomorrow is Bridie's birthday.  We don't have plans yet.  She is so cute!  She has so much personality.  It just goes to show that we bring our own spirits to this world. 

Matthew got asked by Chelsea Flake to Sadie Hawkins next month.  He was so worried about not getting asked that it was a relief to get a text from Amanda asking if Matthew had been asked.  And then an hour later we got door bell ditched with a bag of chocolate eyeballs and Studio C glasses and a letter written in braile.  He answered her with a box of Mike and Ikes that said "I'm glad you asked me and not 'Mike and Ike."  Every morning he takes Chelsea, Darrien, and one of the Bringhurst girls (they live in Jameson's old house).  So it's a car full.  Tomorrow is the end of the term and Matthew still has to pass off his presidents test (remember getting an empty paper and having to list all the presidents, dates of service, party, etc).  He hopes he passes it off today.  I have been praying like crazy for him.  If not he HAS to pass it off tomorrow.  I am so nervous for him.  It has been a busy week with the end of term here.  Adeline has really struggled with her grades, but I think she'll fare ok.  Last night at the concert she looked so beautiful.

Friday the kids don't have school so I'm going to take some of the kids to the witches festival at Gardner village I think.  We are also going Monday with my sisters.

Dad is doing great.  He gave his first talk as a high counselor last Sunday in the 15th ward (it was also Ben Porters older brothers homecoming).  Work is busy.  He has been up in Salt Lake a lot the past week.  

Tomorrow I have SEP's for Jacob and Bridie.  I'm really excited to hear Jacob speak Chinese.  Brodie speaks all the time around home.  Eleanor has caught on and says words too.  

Today was Mom's and muffins at Isaac's school.  That was fun taking all the kids.  

Isaac's last lacrosse game is this week.  He has been playing the cello and really enjoys it.  He is also taking off on the piano.  He is teaching himself a song from Lord of the Rings (Return of the king?  I think).  

Jacob is enjoying staying up really late now that his room is in the basement.  UGH!

Bridie is so excited to have her birthday.  I bought Twix's for her to pass out to her class.  We'll go to dinner for her birthday tomorrow.  But no party planned yet.

Eleanor is cute as always.  She is my buddy and always loves to follow me around.  This morning she didn't want to do anything- just follow me around whining.  But we got to work sorting and folding clothes and then she was a great helper.  We got all the stuff done early so we did puzzles the rest of the morning.  

I am doing a boot camp with Kim Lewis.  We go at 5:45 am in the morning twice a week.  I am not a morning person but now I am up most mornings by 6:30.  It also includes a strict eating plan.  That has been going ok.

I have started reading Preach my Gospel.  It is great.  I'll send some of my thoughts about what I'm reading with my Opa's journals.

 Love you lots.  We miss you and have a hole in our family.  We are all praying for you.  We love you lots and talk about you often.  Keep up the good work!

Love you,

Mom

Fall break

Wednesday night I got a text from my sister in law asking if we were going to Goblin Valley the next day because we had mentioned it.  She said that she was going and would take some of my kids (she already had 7 of her own) if I wasn't going.  I decided to get my act together and go with her.  We got up the next day- some kids were excited (all the littles) while others were crying not to go (Adaline).  We all went and had a great time.  Marilyn came and picked us up and we drove down together.  I was afraid it was going to be cold so we took tons of winter clothes.  It was so hot.  It was a total pain having the winter clothes in the way- oh well.

We stopped on the way down and got sandwiches at the Subway for lunch and treats.  Then drove the rest of the way.  When we got there we had lunch and played on the goblins.  It was hot.  Marilyn and I perched ourselves on a hill and let the kids go wander.  They found a "castle" and could have played for days on that rock.  They had a house with rooms, chairs, beds, etc.  It was hot!  Some of us were prepared for the cold so we rolled up pants and shirt sleeves.  Then we left and went over to Little wild horse canyon.  The kids were ready for a snack so we found a dry river bed in the shade and ended up staying for hours.  The kids found sandy mud and made meatballs for the rest of us.  They also climbed on the rock face.  Then we finally packed up and started the hike.  By this time it had cooled down and was very pleasant.  We hiked a very short distance because the kids were climbing all over the walls.  They discovered everything.  They played in the sand more.  Finally we decided the kids had had enough hiking.  Matthew said "I'm going to see how far it is to the narrow part."  It was just over 100 steps so Marilyn stayed with the little kids and I went on with the bigger kids to the narrow part.  That part is so cool!  Then we hiked back out.  At that point we were ready to call it a day.  So we loaded up and drove out around 6:30pm.  We though we could get some dinner earlier but it wasn't until Price that we stopped at the KFC fro dinner.  After dinner it was dark so the kids slept in the car.  We got home a little after 10.  It was a great day.  I'm so glad we went.

The next day Gordon had taken the day off.  We had no plans the night before and we got up and tossed around ideas.  Gordon really wanted to hike.  It is one of the last good weekends before the cold hits.  We also have a pass to Thanksgiving Point and Gordon hasn't seen the new kids museum yet so we went up and spent and hour or two at Thanksgiving Point.  Then we headed up A.F. canyon to do a hike Gordon had read about.  It was the perfect hike for the kids.  The aspen leaves were beautiful.  Poor Eleanor fell into the mud- her pants will never recover.  That night we had dinner at a Greek truck.  It was the kids first Gyro's.  Then we spent the evening at Christina's switching kids for a sleep over.  The boys slept here.   The next day we got kids switched back and tried to do jobs although I have some really dirty bathrooms today!  

Ramblings

The Saturday after priesthood session of conference David had called an artist in my parents ward and asked if we could come over.  He of course said yes.  He is so generous with his collections.  The kids love to go.  Who wouldn't want to see a shrunken head?  Or sit on a stuffed but real lion?  The kids loved it.  The adults loved it.  It is inspiring every time we go.  He tells the kids "Your parents are going to tell you not to touch anything, but I say you can touch anything you want."

Honey extraction-  So Gordon has finally extracted his honey (it's typically done the end of August.)  I helped a little (cutting off the ends so the honey could drain.)  We got quite a bit of honey.  We always give it away at Christmas because it's way more than we would ever eat on our own.  Driving in the canyon.  Eleanor and I drove up to the Re-store in park city looking for chairs for the kids study.  Everything was so over priced.  I left feeling really sad!  One less place to get a great deal.  On our way home Eleanor took pictures with my phone "because everything is so pretty".  Then she took some selfies.  She is so cute.   I love having her around.

Yesterday was my moms birthday.  Sunday I told her we should go to lunch on her birthday.  She said she has always wanted to ride frontrunner.  So we talked about going to downtown Salt Lake for lunch.  We ended up not riding frontrunner but driving to Salt lake.  David came from work, Julia and Marilyn came.  My mom and I drove together and Christina met us up there.  We ate at the Lion house then David took us on a tour of where he works in the church office building.  We also went up to the 26th floor.  The view is amazing.  Then my mom and I went and ordered our family pictures (my Christmas present) and headed home.  Now everyone in my family knows that you don't get my mom very often, so when you do you have to maximize it.  We stopped by Gordon's new office and she had some suggestions to help decorate it a little better.  Then I dropped her off and headed home.  It was a really fun day.  Eleanor was sick but as long as she had some Tylenol in her she was fine.

Last night Gordon was set apart as a high councilman in our church.  And I was invited to go watch.  He was asked to tell a little bit about himself.  He did a great job and then I was asked to talk about Gordon.  As I was driving over I thought they might want me to say something about Gordon and the story that came to mind is his incredible example during residency of his devotion to the gospel.  He was gone a lot.  Some rotations he never unpacked his toiletry bag.   There were only two rotations that even when he was on call he couldn't come home.  But I almost always remember him coming to church (except for the Sundays he had in house call).  Some Sundays he would come home from being on call and being up all night and get dressed from scrubs into church clothes.  Sometimes he would get a couple of hours of sleep.  Some times he would get up at 4:30am to start rounding on patients, meet me at church and leave right after sacrament meeting to go back and finish his work at the hospital.  That left such an impression on me and his level of dedication to going to church.  Gordon truly is a valiant man and I am so grateful to be married to him.  On a related note:

Miracles-  Yesterday our neighbor (Coulter) was hit by a car while riding his bike (in the crosswalk).  His twin sisters were playing at our house.  A neighbor came and got the kids (Kim Lewis) and fed them all dinner.  He smashed the windshield and dented up the front of the truck.  They took him by ambulance to the hospital and ran tests on him.  Everything turned out ok.  He just has road rash and cuts and bruises.  That night as the high council met they pray specifically for people in our stake.  They prayed for him.  I know their prayers helped him.  I am so grateful for the power of prayer.  I know it has power.  I am grateful for it.  My testimony of a Living God and that he knows me and loves me has been strengthened as my son has been on a mission.  The tender mercies I have received from the Lord are too frequent and touch me so deeply I cannot deny them.  I know he loves me.  I know he loves all of his children.                

Jacob's soccer season ends

This fall Jacob played soccer.  It is the one sport he actually asks to play.  He does stand out on the field looking very confused most of the time.  He rarely touches the ball but it is so cute to see him processing the game.  Gordon once described his sport development as this:  One day in 5th grade I was holding a basketball and looked at the hoop and thought "I need to get this ball into that hoop.'  And from then on he played and enjoyed playing sports.  I think Jacob will have the same breakthrough.  And it may not happen for a while.  Jacob did play goalie this season and he liked it and was pretty good at it.  He could actually stop some of the balls.  I was kind of shocked.  Maybe he's a kid that just likes to function alone.  Anyways, I'm glad the season is over.  I was always calling and getting rides for him because his games were the same time I was running Isaac to Provo for Lacrosse practice.  I would always make it back for most of his game.  I must confess I had a really good time talking to friends on the sidelines while our kids tried to play soccer.  It was a bi-weekly therapy session that I'm really going to miss.  I don't know if Jacob will play basketball.  He might ask to play just so that he can get the treats after the game.

James and his love language

What every parent wants is a personalized handbook on each child and how to handle them and their life perfectly.  Unfortunately we go through trial and error.  Someone joked with me that the oldest child is like the first pancake- a throw away.  Today was a failure.  I didn't get James an email to him because he had already emailed me by 7:30 in the morning.  Last night I thought.. I should email James.  But then I thought I could do it after my 5:30 workout---Yes 5:30 am.  It is a killer.  I am not an early morning person- at all.  So I got home from my workout and sat down to get off an email.  He had already sent me his weekly email.  I thought "well there's no point in sending one now that he can only check his email once on p day.  Well the letter I got was about how sad he was to not get a letter from us and how he doesn't want any more packages- just letters about what is going on.  Note to self- James is not a gift love language, he is a quality time person.  How do I give him quality time when he's so far away (figuratively)?  So I said a prayer, sat down and wrote him all the deepest darkest feelings of my heart that I try to keep suppressed about how much we miss him.  It was a good letter.  He needed to know that we love him, think about him, and miss him.  He feels so far from home and is so homesick.  I also had the thought that we need to start exchanging tapes.  I think he'll enjoy hearing everyone and the things that are going on.  I feel like we are flying solo on this first mission experience.  It's going to be trial and error- hopefully more success than failure.

That's ALL he's asking?

As I tried to soak in as much of General conference this past weekend, I paid particular attention to what the prophet, Thomas S. Monson, said.  He asked us to be like the Savior.  Then it really sunk in.  That is a huge order.  He was the perfect person.  He never made a mistake.  Never lost his temper.  Never was unkind.  Do you know how many times in ONE day I fail on all of these accounts???  I will never in this life be perfect, but I can try a little harder each day to be a little kinder.  A little more patient.  Will I fail?  Every day.  Will I keep trying?  Every day.  And THAT is what matters.

James' testimony

We got an email from James' mission president asking for the following info....


These are the answers to your questions from Elder James Gordon Harkness.
1 right now my favorite scripture is ether 12:27
2  Favorite hymn The spirit of God
3 His testimony- As I've been here at the MTC I've learned that the gospel is not about me personally. It is about me helping others. I came to the MTC with a strong testimony, but since I've been here it's changed. Not for worse but for better. I know that missionary work is a good thing. I know that the way I can achieve joy in this life is by dedicating my life to Christ. I know that the Spirit is a real thing. I've felt it and been directed by it. I know that it can help me with my personal struggles only if I am in tune with it. I have a testimony that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. It was translated by Joseph Smith who did see God the Father and Jesus Christ in the sacred grove. This work is a good thing. It will bring peace and happiness to all who receive it. I have been called to bring it to the people of Korea. I love it. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
4 Members of the family
   Gordon Harkness, Father
   Laura Harkness, Mother
   James Harkness, 18
   Matthew Harkness, 16
   Adaline Harkness, 14
   Isaac Harkness, 11
   Jacob Harkness, 9
   Bridie Harkness, 7
   Eleanor Harkness, 4

Tell us a little bit about James.
James is an incredible person.  He is our first child to leave home and serve a mission.  He has been such a great example to his younger brothers and sisters.  He has always been obedient and chosen the right.  We had a ball raising him.  He is creative, a hard worker, kind, loving (his younger brothers and sisters really miss him), fun, and easy going (he does not have a red head temperament).  He has a strong testimony of the gospel.  I have been so grateful as his parent to have him write that he is struggling with the language but not with his testimony or knowledge of the scriptures.  He has always had a desire to do what is right.  In the evenings when I would go down and say good night to him I always either caught him reading his scriptures or saying his prayers.  You are so lucky to have such a noble spirit come to your mission (I'm biased of course.)  He has such a desire to do what is right.  He loves to read, run, bike, backpack (anything outdoors), and hang out with friends and family.    

Thank you in advance for taking such good care of my son.
Sincerely,
Laura Harkness

Tight

Yesterday we got a letter from James.  As soon as the kids heard there was a letter from James they wanted to read it.  It was so cute.  The bond of siblings is something that I am enjoying seeing in James' letters to his siblings and their letters to him.  They write him often.  They want to make things to send to him all the time.  In the letter yesterday James had translated each of their names into Korean characters (not mine or Gordon's).  They were so excited.   Bridie copied hers down on a piece of scratch paper and carried it around all day.  I am grateful I was able to have 7 children, even at the time I really didn't think I could handle it.  I am grateful for the people they are and who they are becoming.