Randomness

Gordon's home but the kids have yet to see him.  He flew in late last night and had early morning meetings so he was gone before they were up.  I saw him for about 2 minutes.  His suitcase is on the floor of the closet still backed.  I hope that we get to see him a little this weekend.

Last night was women's conference of our stake.  It was excellent!  The classes were so good.  It gave me some things to think about and things that I want to work on.  It was great to be inspired.

Eleanor turns 5 Tuesday.  I can't believe my baby is almost 5 years old.  It makes me sad for me but happy for her.  One problem with her growing older is that she still does things that would be considered babyish.  She loves to put her hand up my shirt and feel my silky camisole.   It's fine for a baby to do it but at 5 it's bushing it.  There are times when I look at her and think, at this point of James' life I had 2 younger children that required my constant attention so James (and the other kids) had to grow up quick.  There is nothing to move Eleanor out of her spot of baby of the family.  She is cute and loves to snuggle and I am so glad we have her.

Chicken killers

If you believe in reincarnation then you would have to say that the greatest punishment would be to be reincarnated as one of our chickens.  No joke.  Extreme torture.  I am trying to raise responsible kids but we are falling way short of the mark.  Like 5 chickens just this batch down the tubes.  Starved, thirsted, and froze to death.  All on my kids watch.  I am sure the kids care, just not enough to do anything about it.
This morning I had had it with the neglect so Bridie and I headed out to fill up their food.  They had been out for who knows how long.  We got them some food and as they were eating I asked Bridie to count how many chickens there were (knowing that there might be some "missing").  Sure enough we were only at 7.  Down 2.  We found them in heaps of feathers in the orchard.  I put them in the garbage and went to get Jacob so that he could take care of the water (or lack thereof).  He complained the whole time.
I am getting really tired of having chickens.  They have stopped laying for the winter and the care has been less than sufficient (as you can tell).  I think we are going to do the universe a favor and stop having "pet" chickens this spring or sooner.  That way there will be a little less suffering in the world.

Chicken Killers.  I know they are cute.

Thoughts

Yesterday Gordon was packing for another business trip.  He will be gone for only about 30 hours and my ticket would have cost $250.  So I decided not to go.  Dang it.
I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself that I was not the one going away.  Then some interesting thoughts came to me.  The first thought was that if James writes specifically to anyone, it is me.  The one person he ALWAYS answers questions of, it's me.  And that is because I was the one always left behind to care for him.  I am always the one left behind.  The second was the thought:  Every time I get a sweet love note from my kids it is because I was the one left behind.  And I get a lot of love notes.  The last ones from Bridie and Eleanor said "Thanks for biing are mom."  It is so cute I have it on my bathroom counter.
The last thought was that I will have time to travel later.  After my kids have grown (and I am realizing how fast that time is coming) I will be free to travel.  Gordon will still be working but I will be able to get away.
It is my job to care for these kids.  I married a man with a very busy and hectic life (and it gets busier and crazier every year!).  He does everything he can when he is here to be a good husband and father, but he's not here a lot of the time.  I am here and it is my responsibility.  I have to remind myself to take pride in that.  This is an important job.  I am raising kids to be competent adults.  That is HUGE.

Another related thought I had resolved recently is what I am going to do in 2 years when Eleanor is in school all day.  I was in church when a quote was read about how being a mother is the most important thing a woman can do.  I thought "If I do something else (like work), it is taking away time from the most important thing I could be doing."  I know God has a plan for my life.  I don't know what it is but I now know that if all I am is a mother and a grandmother, I will have spent my time in this life doing the most important thing I could be doing.  

It feels good to have come to a place where my mind is at peace about a few of the worries and concerns I have had recently.  I am sure I will still struggle with certain aspects of all of this but for now I am at peace.

P.S. These are my own personal thoughts for my own situation. Everyone's situation is different and therefore these thoughts would not apply to them.

New carpet- finally

We got new carpet in the 3 main bedrooms.  We have had white berber and it looked terrible!!!  It was embarrassing!  It had stains from all sorts of bodily fluids and holes from the berber being ripped up by the vacuum.  It took the man the whole day to tear out our old carpet and pad and install new carpet.

Before

After

Student Filmmaker Awards

Wednesday Julia and I went up to help Christina and Stuart with the film festival that Stuart had created.  It was for all students to submit their films and then they were voted on.  This day they had great classes in the morning and showed the films in the evenings.  It was at the UVU campus in Heber City.  It was so much fun to hang out with Julia.  We had a great day.  I was so impressed with what a professional lob Stuart did with everything!!  I all was amazing.  I love my Brother in law Stuart.  He is one of my heroes!

I got home late Wednesday night to a home where Gordon and the kids had cleared out all the 3 upstairs bedrooms for the new carpet coming the next day.

Painting with the girls

Monday was Martin Luther King day and we were getting carpet later that week so I wanted to paint the girls room.  Bridie wanted it blue.  Now nearly all the rooms in our house are blue.  I grew up in a blue house and my kids are now growing up in a blue house.
Adaline rolled and I edged.  Bridie and Eleanor had little brushes and they "helped".  Adeline had never painted before so I was glad she had the experience.  She did a great job!  it turned out really cute!

Add caption

Sunday nights at my moms

This is why I am so glad David's family is back...They are a blast to be around!!!

Heber Valley Camp

Last weekend we stayed in a yurt at Heber Valley Camp.  David and Marilyn had stayed in a yurt over Thanksgiving and made it sound so fun.  (I should have known better.)
The kids didn't have school Friday because it was the last day of the term.  Gordon arranged to have it two nights (Thursday and Friday) but he had been gone so much the past week that when he got home Thursday night we were not packed and the grocery shopping hadn't been done.  So we decided to stay home and leave early the next day.  It was a good choice 1 night was about all I could handle.  We did have a great time- kind of.  It gets better the longer ago it was.
We left early Friday morning and got settled into the yurt.  There were 8 bunkbeds, two tables, and 8 folding chairs in the yurt.  They had a small space heater to keep the yurt somewhat warm.  They groom the roads for sledding so after settling in we went sledding.  The snow was such that only two of our sleds worked so the kids did a lot of fighting (not so much fun).  Matthew kept a fire going in a fire pit outside and we cooked "woofems".  It is a refrigerator roll put over the end of a large dowel.  Then you cook it and then fill it with pudding, pie filling and whipped cream.  The kids ate them throughout the weekend.  That night we played card games and I tried to do a puzzle.  While playing the card games I was reminded how competitive we all are and how much we hate to loose.  (Jacob is especially bad right now.)
That evening Bridie started to get sick.  I had been sick earlier that week and figured she had picked it up from me.  It was not a fun sickness!  She played in front of the space heater the rest of the trip.
We all slept well (relatively speaking).  And the next day was more sledding and fun around the fire.  We left around 3 and drove home.

 

He made it!!

Matthew made it into concert choir.  He was so happy and I was so relived!  It is so nice to see your children accomplish their goals.  He will love it and it will be such a great experience for him.

 Yesterday I sat on the couch sick all day.  I am feeling better today- I was able to get up and do my 5:30 am workout.  It was funny because each week of boot camp has a challenge.  This week's challenge is to drink a gallon of water a day.  When I texted my Chinese friend to let her know I couldn't make our lunch date she told me to drink a lot of water.  I think drinking as much water as I have been has helped- so the Chinese might be on to something.

Back at it and other random things

Today was the first day of bootcamp and getting up at 5:30 a.m.  I really wanted to do evening boot camp but it really doesn't work with our evening schedule.  So I'm back to getting up at 5:30.  Luckily my friend does it with me and we encourage each other.  Today I was ready to go back to bed at 8:30am.  I'll get a nap later.
The kids have end of term this week.  So no school Friday but until then there are a bunch of assignments that will need to be made up/finished and turned in.
Matthew is trying out for concert choir today.  He didn't make it last spring so he's trying to get in for next term because so many of his friends are in concert choir.  So last night for FHE we spent a lot of the time sight reading hymns.  I hope things go well for him today!!

Sunday dinner and random thoughts

It was my turn to host my family at our house for Sunday dinner.  I cooked a turkey and made mashed potatoes.  Everyone brought something.   It makes serving dinner to that many people not too bad.  After everyone had sat down to eat I looked at my kitchen table surrounded by the teen cousins.  It was so cute to see them all laughing and getting along.  I know in not too many years kids will start leaving.  These moments are precious.  I am so glad that they know each other  and like to be around each other.

Saturday Gordon and Matthew tried to go snowmobiling with David and his family but there wan't enough snow.  I was able to go up and see the house that Julia is building.  It is beautiful and she is amazing for all the she has done!

Saturday night we brought home 3 of David's kids so I sat in church with 9 kids.  It gave me a new appreciation for what Marilyn does every day of her life.  She is amazing.

Life is good.  Not ever what I expect but still good and as I put my trust in the Lord things turn out better than I ever could have planned.  I don't know what's next but I know there is a plan and that's is what matters.

While the cat's away...

Gordon has been gone the past 2 days and will be back tomorrow.  It's rough having him gone.  We miss him.  Last night after 10pm he called to talk to me.  I was on the phone with my parents and told Jacob to tell him I'd call him back.  After I got off the phone with my parents I texted Gordon a message that went something like this..."I don't think you want to talk to me tonight.  I'm tired and I had a busy and rough day.  I love you and will talk to you tomorrow."  He texted back "Ok.  Love you too."  I got a good nights sleep and felt better about life today.
Although I almost did buy myself a car.  Isaac texted Gordon.  "FYI- I'm buying myself a car."  He responded quickly to that text.  I told the kids at the end of the month when he's gone again I'll buy myself one.

I had no idea when he took the job as medical director how much traveling he would be doing.  Up to this point it hasn't been too bad mostly because I've been able to go with him to really fun places.  But this week it was Wednesday- Friday at the Zermatt in Midway.  The most boring hotel ever and during the week.  The end of the month he's going to Seattle for about 24 hours on a week day- not the best time for me to go either.  Bummer.

I really shouldn't complain, my mother in law had a husband that was gone half the year.  He would leave for 2 weeks and then be home a week and then gone 3 and then home 2.  It varied, but for him to work he had to travel.  I have no idea how she did it.  She is my hero.  And she raised really great kids too.  Today we had chocolate chocolate chip cookies for dinner with eggs on the side.  Last night we ate dinner at Costco- it's that bad.  When Gordon was gone all the time during residency I never sat down to eat when he was on call.  It just makes me too sad to be the only parent at the dinner table.  So I serve standing and the kids at the bar.  Last night as I prayed I prayed for all the single parents out there.  What a load they carry.  I hope my prayer last night eased a little of their burden.  I can't wait for Gordon to come home and lighten my load.  I'm tired.  

My birthday

I turned 41 yesterday.  It was a great day.  I went to TJMaxx and bought the sofa table and lamps that I haven't wanted to buy because we don't NEED them.  I decided that I could feel justified because it was my birthday.

After my shopping spree I went to lunch with my mom, Christina, and Eleanor at Zupas.  It's a favorite.  Then Eleanor and I went to Target to get towels.  At the end of the day Gordon felt bad he didn't get me anything.  I thought, "I got to go to TJmaxx and Target and bought anything I wanted.  That's a pretty good gift."  After Target we came home and I got a nap.  It was heavenly.

Then the kids started to come home so we picked up anyone who wasn't home yet and went to the local gas station for F'reals.  At 500 calories a piece I settled for Swedish fish and diet dr. pepper.  I was going to need it because I went straight to cub scouts.  I really wished I loved scouts.  It is getting easier and the boys are so cute and good but scouts is hard for me.  I need to change my attitude.

F'reals for everyone

Pajama pants my dear friend Robyn gave me.

I came home from scouts and called Gordon to bring home dinner from the Olive garden.  I had bought christmas poppers at TJMaxx earlier in the day for dinner.  We had them on each plate.  Dinner was great and it is so much fun to sit down with some of my favorite people.

The other night at dinner we were talking about what would would do if we won the lottery.  I have come to realize that if I won the lottery I would do/have more stuff but I would not be any happier.  I have a wonderful life and I am so grateful for it.

Happy birthday Matthew

It was a great day.  The kids went sledding, then we watched a Harry Potter movie (during the break we tried to watch all of them.  We only watched 5 out of 8.)  Then we went to the Riverwoods and the kids rode on the Flo rider.  Eleanor, Gordon and I watched.  Then we had dinner at Tucanos.  On our way home we bought Magelby's chocolate cake.  It's so good.  It was a great day and we are so happy to have Matthew in our family.  I can't believe he's 17!